just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
