I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Randomize
