Already got asked if we're dating
Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Randomize
