Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
