If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
