But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Randomize
