she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
