i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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