I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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