Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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