Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
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