it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
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