Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
