clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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