I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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