i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
