Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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