She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
