Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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