Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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