M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
