I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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