It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
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