If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
