Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
