You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
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