How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Randomize
