she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize
