capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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