I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
