So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
