she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize