i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
