Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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