apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
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Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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