she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
