Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
