Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
