i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize
