But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
