I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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