Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
