Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize