before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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