i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
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