Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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