At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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