The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
