Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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