so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
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