Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
