Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Randomize
