I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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