It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
