K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
so that wasnt chicken after all
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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