Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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