One girl and one boy is just not enough.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
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