Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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