She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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