Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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