12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
