I wish I could teleport
My sheets look like a crime scene.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
only you would photoshop your dick
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize